weight-loss

10 Common Weight-Loss Mistakes & What to Do Instead

I don’t talk too much about weight-loss on this blog, because I really want to focus on so much more. I want to transform your relationship around food and your body so that eating is fun again and you feel confident in your own skin. I want you to have energy and clear skin like you’ve never known was even possible. I want you to live your best life and thrive well into your 90s.

So yeah, to me, it can sometimes feel like weight loss is just about vanity and it’s something that we’re pressured to focus on because of constant media message and society. But at the same time, weight loss can be a path to get you towards living your most authentic, vibrant, and energetic life so I’m not here to shame or discourage you for wanting to shed a few pounds.

If you’ve been trying for a while to lose weight for a while or you have suddenly plateaued on your journey, here a few tips to push start losing weight again.

5 Reasons You're Failing at Losing the Baby Weight

CONFESSION: After my first child, my baby weight basically fell off (side note: she was born 2 months, but I had already gained about 35 pounds). My second child was full term and I gained about 55 pounds (yikes!). I lost about 25 pounds right away and thought to myself, “Oh, this will be easy...” Boy, was I wrong. It may not be fair (or accurate) to say, but it’s now 5 years later and I think I’m still holding on to some of that baby weight.

You see, after my second child I tried #allthethings to lose the baby weight.

I breastfed for 18 months - breastfeeding makes the weight fall off doesn’t it? It can help, but not always.

I counted calories.

I obsessed over the scale.

I drank a lot of coffee and didn’t eat a lot (this was also because I was extremely sleep deprived, as we all are with a new baby).

I tried a juice cleanse, a little exercising, and just about every diet I could try.

And you know what happened?

Not a whole lot. I maybe lost 5 or 10 pounds only to quickly gain them back.

I started not caring how I dressed, because I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin or the clothes I was wearing.

I avoided going out or dressing up at all costs.

I wore oversized sweaters and yoga pants became a staple (let’s be real, they still are!).

I hated shopping for clothes, something I used to love, and I avoided mirrors as much as possible.

And the crazy part about all of this, I was really only 10-15 pounds heavier than my pre-baby weight. And my body just friggen gave birth to a human!!

It’s crazy how magical our bodies are and yet, as women we have very little appreciation for it after childbirth.

I hear from clients all of the time, “I just need to lose this baby weight.” or “If only I could wear my favorite pre-baby jeans again….” or “I can’t stand my post-baby body”.

But the thing is we are not going to get anywhere HATING our bodies. This quite often is the exact reason we end up overeating, binging, or emotional eating. And that’s not what we want is it?

Why Giving Up on Weight Loss May Just Be the Secret to Getting What You Truly Want

give up on weight loss

Before you roll your eyes and think, “I can’t give up on weight loss. I don’t want to be fat forever” please hear me out.

So many of my clients come to me wanting desperately to lose weight and finally reach their “ideal” weight.

But when I dig a little deeper and ask the question “What do you really want?”. Some of the answers I receive are vitality, acceptance, happiness, confidence, a partner, friendships, dream job, and so on.

Most of us believe that once we lose the weight we will have whatever outcome it is we are desperately craving (the guy, the dream job, happiness, ect.).

But the truth is that weight loss does not guarantee anything.

Unfortunately, our society and the media puts this false sense of hope in us that makes us believe that once we lose weight we can have or do whatever we want.

But what if we lose the weight and we still do not feel confident, or still cannot find that partner or dream job?

You may not believe it right now, but this is often what happens when people lose weight.

They come to realize that it actually was never the weight that was the real issue.

Often times there are so many underlying issues that go unresolved when we just focus on weight loss as our goal.

I think it’s time we approach our health and life differently.

I think it’s time we start working on our mental, emotional and physical health from a place of love out of a desire to truly be healthy and happy.

Once we can let go of our unrealistic expectations of reaching this arbitrary “ideal” weight, then I believe we can finally break free from the mental and emotional stress that we are putting on ourselves by obsessing over weight loss.


But wait, How do you actually stop obsessing over weight loss?

 

Here’s my 5 tips to get started shifting your mindset around weight loss:

1. Get Informed & Practice Self-Acceptance. There are quite a few books, podcasts, and blogs that are actually about transforming your relationship with food and your body without focusing on weight loss as the primary goal. I think the best way to start practicing self-love and acceptance is to learn how others have done it and surround yourself with like-minded people. Here are a few of my favorites resources:

Books: Health at Every Size, Intuitive Eating, Body Respect

Blogs: Isabel Foxen Duke, Be Nourished, The Balanced Blonde

Podcasts: Food Psych, Psychology of Eating

2. Ditch the scale: I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, throw out your scale and stop letting the number on it define you.

3. Focus on Nourishment: Instead of your primary goal being weight loss, how about shifting your mindset and focusing on nourishment. When it’s time to eat ask yourself, “what will make me feel good and nourished?” Also, look at other areas of your life and ask yourself “What needs to be nourished?” Perhaps your relationships need extra attention or you need to tap into your creativity. This simple shift in thinking can really lead to living a more joy filled life.

4. Discover What You Really Want:  Now this one may be a challenge or you may be thinking “Duh! I know exactly what I want”. But, I want to ask you to pause for a moment and ask yourself “What do I think I will get once I lose weight.” As I mentioned earlier, there’s usually a much deeper reason we want to lose weight and it’s important to acknowledge what that is. If this doesn’t come easy to you and you’re just not sure what it is that you really want, I suggest to just start doing things that bring you joy and be curious and aware of what you desire in your life. You could set out to try new activities or travel and just be curious as to what you are lacking or craving in your life.

5. Go After What You Really Want: Now that you know what you want, it’s time to start going after that instead of waiting on the weight. If it’s a boyfriend you truly desire, you do not need to lose weight before you find him. Start dressing up and putting yourself out there just as you are. If you think once you lose the weight you will feel more confident, than instead why don’t  you try to start focusing on way to build up your self-confidence just as you are. A great start would be to read books or blogs and learn more about how you can develop self-confidence now.

 

The benefits of releasing the obsession with weight loss are endless. You may actually be happier, enjoy eating and exercising, feel more confident, have more energy, and finally embrace your true desires.
 

I really hope this blog has opened your eyes to new possibilities that you may not have even considered before. And if you’re still not loving the idea of giving up on weight loss, then I suggest making it a goal for it to not be your primary focus. It’s all about taking baby steps and learning how to shift our mindset around weight loss (which is no easy task!).

The truth is your weight does not define you and your weight will not give you what you truly want.   Only you can do that... and you already have everything you need right inside of you.

 



 

Now tell me below in the comments, how does it feel to think of letting go of the obsession with weight loss? 

Why You Should Stop Counting Calories & What To Do Instead

Why You Should Stop Counting Calories & What To Do Instead

I have a confession. 

I used to be a calorie and points counting, scale watching, and weight obsessed basic chick.

I would be that person that read ingredient labels, tracked calories in my cell phone, and researched the amount of calories in meals online before ordering take out from a restaurant.

I also had a love-hate relationship with restaurants that started adding the amount of calories right on the menu. On one hand, I was like "Yes, less work for me to do" and I could just choose the meal with the least amount of calories. On the other hand, when I felt like eating something with more calories, it left me feeling guilty and awful when I saw the number screaming out at me from the menu. 

Needless to say, my days of counting calories or points (or watching the scale) are over, THANK GOD!

I just don't believe its necessary, healthy, or beneficial to your overall wellness.

The biggest take away I've realized about calories is that ALL CALORIES ARE NOT CREATED EQUAL. 

Break Up With Your Scale & Still Lose Weight

Break Up With Your Scale & Still Lose Weight

I used to be best friends with my scale (maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration... maybe not). 

Every single morning I would step on that scale. Even when I wasn’t trying to lose weight. 

Why did I do this? I have no clue. Maybe it was because it became a habit, but let me tell you it was not a great habit. 

Each day when the scale would go up, I would be left feeling defeated or discouraged. I didn’t look any different on the outside, but that number showing up on the scale could really affect my mood.

Finally, I decided to ditch the scale and stop giving it the power it had over me.